How to Stop Living in the Past
The past is no place to park yourself for a lifetime. Why you look backwards. Where you get stuck. And how to pack your baggage to be and live here now.
Lu Hanessian, MSc
There’s ‘been there, done that’.
And there’s… ‘been there, stayed there’. Bought real estate there.
Maybe it’s an old relationship (unforgiven). A past conversation (interrupted). A former job (quit, fired), missed opportunity (that ship sailed), betrayal (still fresh), or bitter disappointment (still bitter).
It’s an old house. You know it well. Every nook. All the dustballs and cobwebs in your mind. You rarely leave those cramped, familiar quarters. Like the doors are always locked from the inside.
As a conflict resolution practitioner, I have listened to many locked door stories. I’ve facilitated resolution between people. And within people.
Our own inner conflict emerges between reality and a story we tell about it. We get stuck. Gridlocked. As we look for any piece of information to confirm that old story, we are actively living in retrospect.
And now? In this era of timelessness and uncertainty, where the future seems like a mirage, living in the past can become our preferred default mode.